The wee boy says “Thank you dad” and his dad says “No worries Alan, glad to help”I’ve been back to the doc again. I’ve been diagnosed with...a chronic fear of giants.He says I have Feefiphobia.“Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.”Terrible joke. Only three stars.Scene: costume partyA: what are you dressed as?B: can’t you tell, I’m a harp!A: your costume is too small to be a harp...B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back.. ”It’s like a sack for, you know, a man’s, you know” was the best I could say.”Oh, like a jock strap, like what I’m wearing under my bathing suit.””Well, yes, it must be like a jock strap” I replied, “but I think it’s more than that.””How so?””Well, for one thing they are usually worn on the outside, aren’t they? And this one’s red,” I added.My brother laughed. “Mine’s black,” he said. After a thoughtful pause he added, “And I can wear it here on the outside. It’d be like a loin cloth, and more. “Clean up your act. Don’t go around having sex with every man you meet. If I was single I’d lay down with you and do it with you but I’m not. I’m a happily married man and I want to remain a happily married man. I love my wife and kids and I intend to remain that way.” Her smiled disappeared immediately. “So you aren’t going to have sex with me ever?” “No Lucy” I told her. “I’d love to in lots of different situations but no, I’m not going to.” She broke down and cried. She really did. She fell. She was shoving her shorts down her chubby legs. Like her mother, she didn't wear panties."What are you going to do to him?!" Matilda screamed, her voice filled with panic."What do you do with him?" Nothing. We just hug." Well, I'm not going to hug the little brat. I'm gonna fuck his father and he's gonna watch. Isn't that right, Daddy?" The last was said so sweetly that Matilda cringed as if Joan had scratched her long fingernails on a blackboard.Matilda's father nodded, licking his lips while.
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