For those next almost two weeks, I drove myself like a madman. After school, I mowed our yard, I mowed all the neighbors’ yards (and we had NO close...neighbors), I weed-eated, I worked in the garden, I emptied the entire garage (four car garage) and painted inside and outside, then organized everything and put it back neatly.I did everything I could to try to make it up to my Dad.Finally, on Friday, the 13th day after the wreck, Dad asked me a question while I was getting ready to go to. I guess other people think the same thing – given his job. And I know that some people find him intimidating given his size and his tattoos and his military background and his habit of riding around on a Harley-Davidson with a bunch of other equally scary men. I guess it’s another aspect of my weirdness that I find big men comforting rather than scary.Speaking of big men, I looked down at the big hand I was holding. Dad had been content to let me hang onto it and keep it in my lap while he. If you want I can leave.” Pam sounded very apologetic and somewhat pliant.Cindy was on her case immediately. “Pam, stop sounding so submissive and subservient. We invited you. You’re here; we all want you here. You know you’re legitimate, so don’t go all wishy-washy just because Mark asked you a simple question. If anything, tell him what you hope will happen.”Pam looked back at me and said in a near whisper, “I was hoping you’d be with me again.” I could barely hear her because her voice was. . i fought down the bitter fury in my heart. I had to accept... had to submit..... my prime object was to please the niggers. I had become quite unstinted in my efforts to please the niggers. That was my duty. My duty as a white sex slave. My arrogance, selfishness and short-temper had been subdued and eradicated in a matter of 3 days. I had been through so much with so many niggers,dogs,pigs and horses that there did not seem to me now any lower depths to which i could sink. The guests of the.
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