That can be a sign of PTSD. How are you doing now?” he asked, his tone of voice conveying his concern.“The nightmares lasted about six months and ...ventually were fewer and farther between,” I replied. “I finally decided that, while not necessarily what I should have done, and that I can’t know for a fact that he would have tried to hurt Kristen or anyone else again, I’m comfortable with the belief that he would have, and that what I did saved someone else from the grief his actions would have. As she takes my load I can’t help but think of mom and so after we calm down I say I need to go to her, stay here and don’t follow me.Nicole is smiling like a Cheshire cat saying ok, ok, go on and she rolls off me laying there on the floor.I grab a towel off the stove door and wiping myself of as I go to her room, I don’t knock, I walked in as she crying on the bed face down.I come around to what was dad’s side and climb atop her bed, I say mom, it’s ok, really, don’t cry and she looks over at. Ronnie felt the tears to starting.Damn it! She had felt like something was off, but with two teenage girls, her job[especially this time of year, she owned an accounting firm and tax season had just ended], and his assurances he was fine, she had let it go. He looked up at the camera."Don't be mad at me for telling you like this. I just needed to make sure I got it right, and with this, it helps me make sure I'm clear. Plus, I'll still be around, and I expect all my kids to come and see me as. .. if I'd just been there, I could have... The police said, no. If I'd been there, I would've been killed as well. At times during the past week, I wished I had been.Two hours later, still sitting at the kitchen table, the cup of lousy instant coffee sat, cold and untouched. My tears had dried, replaced by rage. I stood up, threw the cup at the sink, breaking it into a million pieces and splashing coffee everywhere. I called my brother, Jazz. His name is Jerry, but he'd been called Jazz.
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